Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Like Blowing Jellyfish out of your Nose
Please help me people. I have a problem. (Ok, I have several problems most of which would probably be considered psychological and quite possibly pathological, but let's not get into my desire to steal other people's candy right now, um K?)
I'm trying to use up the contents of my pantry. That sentence, written by a normal person might not be so unusual. But I collect food like a hooker collects disease. I have a lot of stuff. So much that I forgot half of what was in the dark recesses of my kitchen pantry. So, being a lover of lists and order I took everything out, spread it on my table and cataloged it along with any corresponding expiration dates, of course. Then I put the items back in the pantry. Everything is ready and waiting to be taken out, opened, and eaten. One thing that must be used, read it's out of date already but I'm chancing it because I hate to throw food away, is a jar of pickled ginger. I've already used about 2/3 of the jar on asian rice paper wraps and rice noodle soup. What should I use the rest of the jar for? I'm open to suggestions. Seriously, suggest something. While you're at it you could also suggest uses for habenero ketchup, panko, and pomegranate molasses.
Also, If you’ve ever segmented a grapefruit for someone other than yourself, then you know it's love. True Love, Baby.
Also, Also, I prayed to God not to let Zombies attack me. True Story.
Also, Also, Also, without the protection of it's midget condom my finger looks like an albino cave fish.